Saturday, May 2, 2009

♥ C o n t r a d i c t o r y ♥

Its 4 sth now, i know...
I've tossed and turned in the bed for almost an hour,
I can't sleep,
even if i've tried the best that i could...
I must practice a healthy lifestyle,
sleep early,
wake up early...
I can hardly remember the early-morning-sun...
Its oredi dawn when i got into bed,
and when i woke up its about 2pm.
This kind of carefree life is going to end pretty soon...
Form6 is comin'...
Im gonna fit into the ugly and boring uniform,
be ready for the dull and monotonous schedule...
I have to cut my hair,
probably on monday...
I can no longer playing with my nail polish...
Honestly, i don't wanna go back...
I hate to be controlled and bio is just not my type...
How great would it be if i could go to MMU,
and pursue my dream of IT...
No doubt,
i could go there if i really wan,
but wasting my parents money and studying a course they don't really like,
i just cant do it...
All my hopes are on the JPA scholarship...
If i really got it,
i could pursue my dream in USA,
its a nice one...
I fathom that im self-contradictory,
i wanted to study IT so badly,
but im afraid to live alone in USA...
I'm scared that i can't do well in what im persisting in...
About matriks,
i don't really wish for it...
Certainly,
i want to leave here right now,
but not with studying something im not interested
and leaving all my friends behind...
Gross...I'm so contradictory!
I have a dream,
but i can't pursue it...
I have wings,
but i can't fly...
It proves that reality is always the winner,
in the battle with dreams...
I guess i need to cut my hair as fast as possible,
so that i wouldn't have any superfluous expectation...


P/S: bye bye, my not-too-short-bob...

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